If there is anyone reading this blog that is debating ditching their car and relying on the Port Authority to get you about town, please consider it carefully before changing your life that way. I hear it’s great for the environment as there are fewer poison-spewing vehicles on the road. That’s good. You probably get more exercise walking to the bus stop then you do walking to your parking spot. That’s good, too, unless it’s in inclement weather, then it’s bad.
I’m having a little difficulty coming up with other good things.
You may look at the title and think to yourself “Hate is a rather strong word. Does he actually loathe the Pittsburgh Public Transit System?”. Yes, I absolutely do… part of it. I’m cool with the trolley. It’s never really done me wrong aside from being late a couple times. The bus is where my ill will lies.
Let me tell you a short story demonstrating the sort of pattern I see in relation to using the bus system that drives me nuts.
One morning, a man named Duke awoke to find the perfect day outside his window. Energized by sunshine that greeted him as he walked out the front door, Duke enjoyed the mile walk from his house to the bus stop. As he neared the stop, he saw his bus nearing the stop as well. Duke hurried to the stop where someone was already waiting. The bus stopped, allowed the person who was already waiting to board, and just as Duke was two feet away from the door, the evil driver slammed the door in his face and sped off, which surprised Duke because he’d never seen a bus move faster than five miles-per-hour. The dust and smoke from the bus’ tires cleared leaving only the driver’s cackle hovering in the air. That single instant changed Duke’s life forever. He would have gone on to get a lottery ticket at the 7-11 and win five million dollars. Then, getting to work ahead of schedule, he would have been given a promotion for being so reliable. But most tragically, at the celebration for his promotion, Duke would have met the woman of his dreams, who just happened to be newly over her last relationship and ready to start again. He would have married her, too. Instead, he got to wait another 45 minutes for a bus, making him late for work instead of early. He got fired upon his arrival at the office. That’s when Duke became an alcoholic. The End.
That was a true story*. The saddest part is that it all could have turned out alright if that doody-faced driver had kept his door open for two more seconds.
I need a car.
*Facts in this story are limited to Duke’s interaction with the bus, not including speed and/or cackling.
